My life ain’t exactly peachy, though it really irks me when people misunderstand how I deal with my many trials and tribulations.
One cannot fully understand the inner workings of another person. Heck, we can’t even understand our own selves, so how can we be expected to understand how others think and feel.
It can, therefore, be a bit irritating when people try to pick apart my way of doing things.
I say this – I do not wish to exert too much energy on things I do not have control over. I can be pissed about it, yes, but if there’s nothing I can do about it, I’d rather exert my energy on other more important things.
You probably have your own way of dealing with these… things.
Last night, I started studying on more advanced video editing software.
To make a long story short, my brain practically melted in my head as I watched a handful of tutorials on the basics of 2D animation. It’s mostly due to the different program’s interface, and layout, and also me not knowing what to do.
There were times where the tutorial I found moved quickly, and I was unable to follow, making me have to rewind and replay the video a couple of times. I also had to repeat the starting process a couple of times because I did not know what in the world I was doing.
By the way, I am studying Blender – a free to use 3D animation and video editing software.
I was about to doze off to sleep when my cat approached me, in the way cats do – purring. She pushed her head against mine and gave it a little lick. She then walked off to her corner of the bed – above my wife’s pillow, and went to sleep.
For whatever reason, I suddenly thought of the apartment we used to live in five years ago. Panic struck me when I realized that there were a lot of bits that I could not recall about it – tiny details, like where did the cat sleep when we lived there. Did she always sleep by our bed?
As I try to answer that question, I noticed that I could not recall instantly what our old room looked like. It took a bit of effort, but there were pieces missing. They were like dark spots that I could not fill in.
I could recall what the living room and dining room downstairs looked like. I recalled the large, L-shaped black sofa, the TV rack we had, the dining table we used – they were not the same furniture that we have in our home now. The sofa found its new home in my brother-in-law. It was supposed to have been sold at a lower price in an installment agreement, but it was at a time when they were in financial distress, and now that they are well off, they conveniently forgot about it, and my wife could no longer collect from her older brother. The dining table is now with my mother-in-law. It was a wedding gift from my wife’s sister, and since it could no longer fit our new home, and her mother was in need of a dining table, we gave her that- among other old furniture that we could no longer use.
Our old apartment was larger in comparison to our current home, so we had to pare down our furniture.
Slowly, as I put more effort into recalling, parts of the old apartment fell into place. I remembered where the cat’s litter box was originally placed – near the bathroom. The bathroom there was concealed from the dining and living room, so it was OK to place it there. Now, it is in our room. I have to clean it often. The same goes with the cat’s food and water bowl. It is in our room. I also had difficulty recalling where it was placed the last time. I think it was located in the kitchen, but I can not really be sure.
It feels weird how living in that apartment felt like a lifetime ago, when it was just five years ago when we moved out of there. I guess it goes to show how little time I must have spent in our room then, as most of the time I was working in our store, and would go to our apartment late in the night, dead tired.
Yeah, it feels like a lifetime ago.
It felt weird and made me unable to sleep that night. Funny how time passes by, eh?
Last weekend had been a somewhat productive day. I was able to get out and get some street and outdoor photography done. I will upload them in instagram soon.
We also managed to record content in advance for the wife’s channel, which is good. As the producer, it can be very stressful when production schedules are not being met, and deadlines with no output pass you by.
Not to sound over simplistic, but I guess that is the only way to which we can continue living.
You lost, you screwed up, you are a loser. Fine.
But if you stay down and give up, you continue to be, and will forever be a loser.
I lost an important item, and I grieved over it. I was devastated and very much down. I can’t say that it was an easy process for me, it was very hard. I screwed up.
But if I want to continue moving forward, I have to push it aside – or in this case, push that memory deep down, and forget about it.
Lesson learned, move on.
Thanks for reading.
If you like this post, please follow my blog. I don’t usually post depressing things like my previous post. I used to cover literary things related to writing, but I find that I am not much of a novel writer. Probably just a short story writer. I do dabble in photography and videography, so I suggest you follow me on instagram if you want to see some of my works.