Numb

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It all take a bit of getting used to
And the pain will no longer hurt.
It takes a bit of effort,
Then it will blur and fade.

I can’t feel.
I mustn’t.
I must be tough
Like steel.

It’s how I can protect myself,
From all the insanity around me.
From all the things thrown at me,
So I can still be myself.

Is this supposed to be normal?
Do all of you live in fear?
Fear for my every move,
And the consequences near?

Endure, I must, I should not falter.
Outlive, outlast, it does not matter.
Surive, I will, hope for the better.
Or die trying, damn this letter.

Turmoil

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In my mind, a tempest brews,
I cannot focus.
The whats, the ifs, the hows,
Clash against each other.

I cannot be calm.
For each step I take can bring harm.
Nothing is safe.
Nothing is sacred.

I am but a husk.
Living, but empty.
Going through the motions of the mundane.
Chaos is a tide I must ride.

There is no order,
There is no rhyme.
There is no reason,
Only danger.

Danger for my self,
Danger for my person,
Danger for my possession,
Danger for my future.

But I must endure.
I will not let this suffering win.
To die is to lose.
To live is to go on in spite.

I must stay still,
For the mind is swirling,
In chaos, never ending
I will…

The Ghost Writer

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I have no body of my own,
I exist in another zone,
I speak up in the microphone,
The voice you hear, another tone.

I shake the shackles of my chain,
I cannot even moan my pain,
They shrug at me with pure disdain,
My existence has been in vain.

And yet, yourself, my words you use,
Constrain me with your own abuse,
Squeeze my essence for your juice.
For the things you must produce.

Hang In There

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Life is tough, and it can be sometimes hard to go on… but yeah, we just need to hang in there. It will get better.

There’s something about the holidays that can be stressful. It could be the hustle and bustle and the rush of getting things done in time, it could even be as simple as dealing with family members in gatherings. The addition of the pandemic this year is no help, too.

However, it will pass. It may be hard, but you’ll survive.

Don’t let dark, intruding thoughts in. Be busy, do things. When your body is moving, your mind is not thinking. That may be good for you. Give it a try.

If not, write it down. Write whatever dark emotion you have inside and let it out. You may not have the privilege of having someone to confide in. If you do, consider yourself lucky. Don’t keep it all inside. It will just make things worse.

I wrote these down as a reminder and advice to myself. I thought that it might help you, or a friend.

Thanks for reading!

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