I find dealing with a person’s perception of truth difficult to deal with.
Another person’s idea of truth is limited to their own perception, and this perception is influenced by personal bias.
It is also very frustrating to deal with them, most specially when things that are out of my control are involved. Technology fails, like internet connection or program crashing – my fault. Events not going as you have planned – my fault.
It pisses me even more when an unintentional event is being portrayed as something that I have intentionally done. No, I did not drop the call, the signal dropped and so the phone call was cut. No, that video call ending was not because I ended the call, it just stopped. Internet connection maybe?
Therefore, the burden of proof is always on me. I should always be prepared to show proof that I poor mobile connection or poor internet connection.
Being on constant alert as the smallest move I make will most certainly be misinterpreted. Being viewed from a camera and being recorded and questioned later about the smallest action I made is not a pleasant experience.
Knowing that over a thousand photos of my face has been taken to analyze what I was doing, and what was happening around me based on the reflection on the glass pane behind me which is at an off angle because of the placement of the camera is both disturbing and disheartening. Shadows reflected on the glass, and how my eyes moved are basis for deduction.
I try my best to numb myself from the experience I am going through. It’s hard to distract myself.
I learned that we can control what is going on around us with how we react to it. It’s difficult, to be frank.
Am I being gaslighted or is this genuinely a forgetfulness thing? I frankly can’t say, but it’s good to err on the side of caution, and protect myself.
Each of us have something going through, and it would seem that this is my hell to live through.
If you’re here reading this, thanks. I hope you have a nice day.