It’s been three years, yet I am still feeling the devastation. To hear the news about the death of someone you look up to can hurt, but what is even more gut-wrenching is knowing that they lost to depression.
I started listening to Linkin Park in my teens in the year 2000. Their high-energy rock music mixed with hip-hop appealed to my teenage soul. In the age of NuMetal, their style rose up from the rest.
Over the years, their style evolved and changed. From what started as a scream fest and rhythmic beats, they also incorporated other types of music, including slow and acoustic songs. I initially did not like their slow songs. I have always thought of them as this fast, high energy band. Slow songs are for the weak, I thought.
After a few years, however, my view and perspective changed. Their change in style was not weakness. It was growth.
Even I grew to appreciate the different tones in their music. It all depends on the circumstance.
Feeling angry? I’d play a high energy song filled with Chester’s screaming voice that seemed to soothe my being.
Feeling down? Mike Shinoda’s rhythmic voice is a good pick-me-up.
Feeling sad? Well, this was new. I would normally pick an upbeat song to get myself out of this slump and forget about this emotion. However, sometimes it takes accepting the sadness before you can move forward. They got slow, haunting music for this, too.
Their music is like this friend that is there with you through thick and thin.
That is why it hit me hard when I heard depression took the life of Chester Bennington away.
Depression is an unseen enemy that is difficult to fight.
It is hard to judge a person who had lost to depression. There are a lot of things going on inside their heads, that is far and different from the facade that is seen when they face the world. The happiest man can also be the saddest man behind closed doors.
I have to admit, I barely know the guy. I mostly know them for their songs. I’m a fan. That’s all. Yet I am hurt by the turn of events. I can only imagine how much more hurt his friends and families must feel. I felt I lost a friend.
My life is far from perfect. It’s a struggle and sometimes it can be difficult to keep moving forward. When everything seems to be crashing and falling and going through life is difficult… I have to constantly remind myself that there has to be a bright side, that there has to be more to life than this.
When I think and remember that my heroes are dead, and the world I am living in is a pile of trash and that there is nothing to look forward to but the embrace of death and darkness… I stop and think. Those who have gone before us will only keep living through the memory of those who remain. I live so that those who have gone before me will keep on living in my memory. Hence, we must keep on living and keep on struggling, for that is the nature of man – to shine like a candle in the darkness and once our light is extinguished, inspire others to also shine.
If you ever feel that things are too overwhelming, and that you have no one to talk to. There are people who are certainly willing to listen to you, and at least ease you through the hardship of life.
Pardon my ramblings. Forgive my words. I’m feeling a bit emotional today.
But hey, I’m alive. I’ll keep on living, and hopefully I’ll make Chester proud, eh?
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I will listen to some Linkin Park music.
Have a nice day!