My rage is simmering in me, I’m holding a grudge, really, because I was punished over something I did not do, but rather punished over the feeling of jealousy I have caused.
In my previous post, I mentioned how the constant power outages caused my to be relentlessly nagged at via messages… Power outages are out of my control. In fact our country is suffering from an energy crisis, so it seems. However, the constant power outages means that my phone has no internet connection, and no internet connection means the wife has no surveillance over me.
You guys are worrying about someone spying on you via your webcams and phone cameras, well, I’m actually living it. As soon as I walk into work, that video call is running, and I am under constant watch.
It’s annoying, frustrating and very stressful knowing that my every move is being watched. I have to be mindful of where I’m looking – which is straight at the computer monitor. If anyone hands me paperwork or whatever, I’ll be sure to be questioned about who it was immediately.
Friday, September 9, was the return of the Penafrancia Feista’s Traslacion Procession. Now, the Penafrancia Fiesta is an annual religious festival, but due to the pandemic, was put on hold for two years.
Over the years, I have an informal vow to somehow always attend it in person. While I do not join the hordes that flock over the image and try to touch it as a form of vow to either carry or reach it as a sort of goalpost, I just like the feeling of being in the midst of it all.
Now, whether I was being manipulated because my wife personally does not want to attend it, but instead wanted to shift the blame to me so that I will not blame her over it and stop pestering her about me wanting to go… I can never say, but this is how I see it.
I was unjustly punished and I was not allowed to attend something that I have always done years before we were even married.
In high school, I volunteered with our Red Cross Chapter to help those injured in the procession. College, I watched the events in the sidelines, but try to get as close (but safe) as possible. This was also the time I took up photography and thought that the procession is a good subject.
I’m very disappointed, and also demotivated.
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