I don’t know how to start this so I’m just going to go ahead…
Since I have no one to talk to this about, I’m going to rant in here.
It has been 4 years since the major interior works our house was completed. The endeavor put me in deep debt and also cut our spending money really hard. We were slowly recovering from it, and as of now, some of my debts have been reduced.
I just need to get this out just to get my sanity in order.
This morning, as I was heading off to work, I had a fender bender.
Since it was in my neighbor hood, I was running slow. In fact, I was running the car really slow because in the right side of the road, I saw a kid sitting in the curb, plus there were cars parked on both sides of the road. Got to be careful, you know?
Things are not too bright and cheery on my side, and I am afraid all my worries and problems are starting to leak out.
I feel exhausted, tired and I don’t feel all that passionate about life, and it is all because I am feeling the heaviness of the mistakes I have made in recent times that have been causing a large dent in my financial stability.
I was hoping that when December rolls in, the additional money that the annual bonus from my work would somehow alleviate my situation… But it turns out that it merely is just a small cushion that is barely felt.
I need to increase my monthly income so that it could absorb the previous investment blunders that I made, yet it seems that it will be more of a small drip that will just cause ripples in this pond of problems.
But I am at my limit with my regular job and the store that we are running. The store has me up until the late hours of the night, and then I have to wake up early to get to my job.
I feel the frustration of the grind. It’s like when in a game and you are working to earn your tiny experience points to fill up your experience bar so you could get that satisfying level up later on – – but you still have a long way to go. It can get exhausting. The grind often drains the fun away. Life’s fun feels like it is draining away from me. I want to travel, to experience the world, to have fun with life – – but first, I need to deal with this issue head on.
My dad said that me and my wife will be able to get over it. We’ll recoup our losses. I don’t know if he’s being sincere and he actually sees hope, or is just being supportive. I frankly don’t see it happening anytime soon. I feel that as time keeps moving forward, my financial problem keeps getting deeper.
I’m mostly an optimist, and I apologize for having you read all these things.