Numb

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It all take a bit of getting used to
And the pain will no longer hurt.
It takes a bit of effort,
Then it will blur and fade.

I can’t feel.
I mustn’t.
I must be tough
Like steel.

It’s how I can protect myself,
From all the insanity around me.
From all the things thrown at me,
So I can still be myself.

Is this supposed to be normal?
Do all of you live in fear?
Fear for my every move,
And the consequences near?

Endure, I must, I should not falter.
Outlive, outlast, it does not matter.
Surive, I will, hope for the better.
Or die trying, damn this letter.

Turmoil

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In my mind, a tempest brews,
I cannot focus.
The whats, the ifs, the hows,
Clash against each other.

I cannot be calm.
For each step I take can bring harm.
Nothing is safe.
Nothing is sacred.

I am but a husk.
Living, but empty.
Going through the motions of the mundane.
Chaos is a tide I must ride.

There is no order,
There is no rhyme.
There is no reason,
Only danger.

Danger for my self,
Danger for my person,
Danger for my possession,
Danger for my future.

But I must endure.
I will not let this suffering win.
To die is to lose.
To live is to go on in spite.

I must stay still,
For the mind is swirling,
In chaos, never ending
I will…