depression – Jomz Ojeda’s Blog

We Are All Stories In the End

My circumstances have made me into a minimalist.

I have found little interest in things anymore, and I value what I already have more. It’s not that I’m a true minimalist, no, far from it.

I do not have a safe place to store my “stuff.” If I display any of my collections, they are at risk of being at the receiving end of a tantrum. I don’t feel safe, and because of that, being a collector has lost its sense of importance.

The value of a collection is given by the collector and also those who have a similar appreciation as the collector. You know how the old adage goes? Another man’s trash is another man’s treasure? Well, it’s the same with collections, right? Another man’s toy collection is just a child’s playthings to another person.

If I don’t have a safe place to store my collection, nor a way to talk about my collection or even pass on my collection when I kick the proverbial bucket… what’s the point?

It feels empty. Pointless.

In the end, our possessions will be left behind, and we will be nothing more than dust beneath the ground and stories in other people’s memories.

Have a nice day!

Puppet

Photo by Bengi Su Yu0131ldu0131z on Pexels.com

Tied up with strings,
No will of its own.
To its master it clings,
Down to the bone.

Shaped like a man,
But dead inside.
No life, no plan,
Nothing to provide.

Dial Down The Depression

Dial down the depression,
It’s getting too obvious.
And as expected,
A cause is fabricated.

So dial down the depression,
It’s useless.
Nothing will happen,
It’s pointless.

Turmoil

In my mind, a tempest brews,
I cannot focus.
The whats, the ifs, the hows,
Clash against each other.

I cannot be calm.
For each step I take can bring harm.
Nothing is safe.
Nothing is sacred.

I am but a husk.
Living, but empty.
Going through the motions of the mundane.
Chaos is a tide I must ride.

There is no order,
There is no rhyme.
There is no reason,
Only danger.

Danger for my self,
Danger for my person,
Danger for my possession,
Danger for my future.

But I must endure.
I will not let this suffering win.
To die is to lose.
To live is to go on in spite.

I must stay still,
For the mind is swirling,
In chaos, never ending
I will…

Escape

It’s All Gone

My back-up external hard disk, which due to budget issues, became my primary storage for files, got corrupted last week.

My files are gone.

I am distraught, and I feel like throwing up.

It even led me to an existential crisis, making me think of dark, dark thoughts, on life and death, and what is the purpose of living, if we will just die and be forgotten.

Exhausted

I don’t feel like moving,
All of these, so tiring,
Internally screaming,
As the world is burning.

These burdens are heavy,
With no one to help me.
Piled up beyond safety,
This life’s a travesty.

This path that I’ve taken,
Has left me forsaken,
With trials and frustration,
And foul, dark emotion.

I’m exhausted, so tired.
Everything backfired.
I can’t move, I’m mired,
Just waiting to be expired.

Hang In There

Life is tough, and it can be sometimes hard to go on… but yeah, we just need to hang in there. It will get better.

There’s something about the holidays that can be stressful. It could be the hustle and bustle and the rush of getting things done in time, it could even be as simple as dealing with family members in gatherings. The addition of the pandemic this year is no help, too.

However, it will pass. It may be hard, but you’ll survive.

Don’t let dark, intruding thoughts in. Be busy, do things. When your body is moving, your mind is not thinking. That may be good for you. Give it a try.

If not, write it down. Write whatever dark emotion you have inside and let it out. You may not have the privilege of having someone to confide in. If you do, consider yourself lucky. Don’t keep it all inside. It will just make things worse.

I wrote these down as a reminder and advice to myself. I thought that it might help you, or a friend.

Thanks for reading!

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I hope you have a nice day

It is Okay to Be Happy – A BoJack Horseman Review

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For the past few weeks I had been watching BoJack Horseman on Netflix, to the point that my wife got sick of seeing me watching “that ugly horse cartoon again” over and over again. Hahaha…

I have to admit – the show got me hooked. I could not help but relate to the things the characters were going through – the depression, the anxiety, the addiction, the entire mess of their lives.

If you haven’t watched the series finale yet, mild (really mild) spoilers ahead. You have been warned. 🙂

Continue reading “It is Okay to Be Happy – A BoJack Horseman Review”