Back to Square One

Photo by Ylanite Koppens on

I don’t know how to start this so I’m just going to go ahead…

Since I have no one to talk to this about, I’m going to rant in here.

It has been 4 years since the major interior works our house was completed. The endeavor put me in deep debt and also cut our spending money really hard. We were slowly recovering from it, and as of now, some of my debts have been reduced.

Unfortunately, my wife is looking into more renovations after two years, and the estimated price will be at least 2.5 times the amount of the expenses we had four years ago.

I was severely traumatized by the aftermath of our expenses. There were times where I was only paying the minimum for credit card payments while it just kept growing and growing. There were days where I only ate once a day. All for what? For a pretty kitchen and a nice house.

I joked before we started that project that we might end up licking the cabinets instead of eating anything. The wife still went through with it.

I can’t believe she is contemplating on another major renovation.

A house’s design isn’t like clothes that you can change just because you don’t like it anymore… Construction and demolition just does not work like that. Plus there’s also the added stress of living in a house under construction – dirty, dusty and a big mess.

But I’m more concerned about the cost.

This time, we will be taking on another loan as soon as one of my loans is finished.

Here’s the catch – the loan that will end is only approximately 44% of the projected cost. And the remaining balance? Who knows where that’d be taken from. I don’t have the borrowing capacity to cover the cost. Our house is still mortgaged with the bank – twice mortgaged, actually. The original house was under mortgage, and the first improvements did was mortgaged again to cover for the interior renovations.

Sure, my salary is projected to increase in two years, but it will not be enough.

Currently, we are struggling financially. We are fortunate that my salary is able to cover loan payments, bills and some personal expenses. The decrease in buying capacity is due to our housing loan increasing this year because of some government program which delayed loan payments for two months, but ended up being spread for a year later.

I am not used to this.

When I wanted to buy something before, I saved up for it. I delayed my own gratification, until I have enough money to buy what I wanted. I cannot stand how my wife deals with money now. Instant gratification. Can’t afford it? Borrow. And where will the payments for that come from? Who cares.

Well, I do. Because I’m the one who has to worry about making ends meet. I’m the one who has to figure out how we will get the money to pay the bills.

What’s even more frustrating is that I am also the one ending up sacrificing my own wants, and sometimes, my own needs.

Do we need the renovations? Not really. Our house it not in shambles, nor is it old that would necessitate major renovations. It needs repair – yes, the stairs need to be fixed, the roofing in the extension looked into, but I do not see the need to remodel and re-arrange everything. The cabinets and fixtures that was installed four years ago is still fine, and I still see it to be fine two years in the future. Renovating would probably end up scrapping them.

What a waste.

If you made it up to this point, thank you very much for putting up with me. I don’t have anyone to talk about this, and I really appreciate it.

Thanks for reading!



Author: jomz

Web Designer and Developer, Graphic Artist. Writer.

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